Scientists stunned by health benefits of living on a golf course!

Scientists stunned by health benefits of living on a golf course!

Scientists have recently discovered the stunning health benefits of living on a golf course.  Benefits found to include a reduction in male-patterned baldness, and increase in overall happiness which in turn has led to a decrease in gum disease.  The cause of this?  The dimples on the golf balls.  Who knew?!

With the combined efforts of doctors, scientists and golf professionals, they have analyzed the homeowners who sit on their oversized, covered patios of their newly built homes, watching golfers have a secondary health benefit as the golfers tee off.  The golf balls that whiz by are having astounding health benefits that even baffle the top minds in the medical field.

What they have discovered is that the dimples on the flying golf balls create a thin turbulent boundary layer of air that creates a concentrated cloud of positive ions.  This concentrated cloud is loaded with special ions that flow over a bald scalp, thus activating hair growth.

These positive ions also cause great happiness, which in turn leads to laughing.  This has especially been found to affect homeowners who live on a public golf course tee box, where player experience varies.  And when the golfer is using their driver, this creates the most turbulence and benefits.

As the golf ball flies through the air, the positive turbulent current reaches the open, laughing mouth of the homeowner and heals gum disease, who are enjoying their new, custom-built home.  Dentists are thrilled!

By coincidence, I just happen to be hosting an open house this weekend on a public golf course!  Stop by today and tomorrow and let the healing begin!  Campus Estates at the Woodlands Golf Course in Lacey, WA

 

#FakeNews, #HappyAprilsFoolsDay

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